This month, we're talking about fear... Specifically, the most common fears we face as actors, how they show up and hold us back in our careers, and how to conquer them.
The first installment was Fear of Failure. This week, we tackle its even more insidious partner, Fear of Success.
"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist." - Kevin Spacey in The Usual Suspects (adapted from Charles Baudelaire's 1864 short story 'The Generous Gambler.')
The first obstacle in overcoming Fear of Success is accepting that it's real. Fear of Success? It makes no sense! Why would we fear the thing we want most?
Because success means abandoning our comfort zones and confronting some big emotional baggage, and that's scary. To put it another way, we're really talking about Fear of the Side Effects of Success. For instance:
- For better or worse, you know how you feel about your current life... But you have no idea how you'll feel about success (whatever 'success' means to you.) What if it's not all it's cracked up to be? What if you get there and find out you hate it? Our psyches will do a lot to protect us from finding out.
- In order to reach success, we often have to let go of habits and relationships that don't support us. That can mean big changes in how you relate to your family, letting go of a long but unhealthy friendship or romance, getting help to break destructive behavioral patterns, etc. All things it would be a lot easier not to do.
- When no one expects anything of you, the only person you can disappoint is yourself. But when other people see you as successful, they expect you deliver on that reputation. That's a lot of pressure.
- You can't succeed if you don't try. So success means giving up the security blankets of procrastination and complaining, and finally DOING the things we've been procrastinating and complaining about. Makes your stomach churn just thinking about it, right?
Another tricky thing about Fear of Success is that it hides in plain sight, because most of the symptoms are the same as those of Fear of Failure. Even worse, the two often work in cahoots to immobilize us through self-sabotage; 'I want to submit myself for this project... But what if I get it and have to figure out what to do about my job and apartment? They're probably looking for a name anyway. Oh forget it.'
So yes, Fear of Success is a real, nasty thing, and you have no choice but to confront it if you want to be a working actor. So start now by spending some time thinking about how Fear of Success shows up in your life and career. If you do it right, it'll feel uncomfortable...
And that's ok, because next week, we'll talk about how to confront and overcome these fears (along with any others you've got socked away in that brain of yours.) Deal? Deal.