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One of the worst parts of being an actor is the constant temptation to compare your career to the careers of others actors. It's a nasty habit, and one we know we should break, yet we can't stop ourselves.
One of the best ways to break this kind of habit is to look it square in the face and confront what's really going on. Because it turns out that the logic behind these comparisons is so flimsy that it falls apart when you think about it for a few minutes. So let's look at a few of the kinds of comparisons we love to indulge in:
- X in Common
This is the kind of comparing you do with someone who went to the same college program as you, or is in your Pilates class, or you often see in commercial auditions. It's when you say to yourself, "s/he and I have x in common, so why is s/he doing so much better than I am?"
The nutty thing about this kind of comparison is that it leaves out all the other variables that affect a person's career. Maybe the person you're comparing yourself to spends a lot more time and energy marketing themselves. Maybe they came to LA with strong credits. Maybe they have a powerful uncle. Maybe they're a naturally great auditioner. Maybe their type is hot right now so there are more roles for them. Maybe they have a great agent or manager. Maybe they're just on a hot streak. (And maybe it's not as hot as it looks from the outside — see #2.)
The point is that, whatever you have in common, there is far more about you that is different. Those differences are what make you unique and cartable, and are why you have — and will always have — a different career trajectory than anyone else.
- Believing the Hype
There is a BIG difference between the person you portray on social media and the person you actually are. We post what we want people to see, and craft it in a way that sends the message we want to send. It's totally normal, and we all do it, because social media is a marketing tool (whether we realize it or not.) Every time we post, we're defining our personal brands.
Which is exactly why we can't compare ourselves to other actors based on what we read on social media. We all know people who sound like huge successes on Facebook, but whose lives are falling apart in reality. Comparing ourselves to what someone's career looks like on social media is like comparing our bodies to airbrushed photos of models in magazines; we end up feeling bad for not achieving something that doesn't exist in reality.
- Drop in the Bucket
This is both the most common kind of comparison actors get caught up in, and the craziest. It's when we scroll through Facebook or Twitter or spend a month hanging out with our actor friends, and conclude that everyone else is auditioning and working like crazy and we're not.
What we're doing is adding up the auditions and bookings of dozens of people, and comparing it to our own individual progress. So now we're not only supposed to be doing as well as one other person, we're supposed to be doing as well as a hundred other people combined. No wonder it makes us feel like crap!
o any of these ring true for you? Consider making a note to remember this post next time you realize you're comparing yourself to another actor. If you can make a NEW habit of interrupting yourself in the midst of those comparisons and reminding yourself that they don't make any sense, you'll be on your way to breaking yet another nasty actor habit that's holding you back.