I’m back in action after a several-week-long fight with pneumonia. Thank you sincerely for your understanding and patience while I recovered.
Where were we? Oh right — shooting a sex scene. Hooray…?
You’ve probably heard that there’s nothing sexy about shooting a sex scene, and it’s true.
Depending on the specifics of the scene, the set may be closed or locked down, which means anyone who is not absolutely essential to getting the shots will be asked to leave, and playback in “video village” will be similarly restricted. If this doesn’t happen and you’d like it to, talk to the AD or director.
You will almost certainly have had a conversation with wardrobe about what you'll be wearing before the shoot day. You’d be amazed what they can do with flesh-colored undergarments. In all but the most explicit scenes, you will at least have some privacy garments covering your most private areas, in order to prevent any actual contact. For less revealing scenes, you may actually be covered to the same extent that you would if you were wearing a swimsuit.
Depending on how exposed you are, you may be given a robe to cover you when you’re not actively shooting. Often, someone from wardrobe will take the robe off just before “action” is called, and bring it to you as soon as the director yells “cut.” Again, if this is not offered and you’d like it, just ask.
The tone while shooting a sex scene is often pretty serious and subdued, as no one wants to make the actors uncomfortable. (In my experience shooting sex scenes, the actors tend to take the lead in terms of how relaxed, humorous, or comfortable the feeling is on set.) If there’s anything about the tone on set that is making you uncomfortable, let the AD or director know.
If you are at all unclear about what you will physically be doing, ASK. Which body parts will touch other parts? How explicit does a given shot or act need to be? It may feel uncomfortable, but it's far better to get it all on the table rather than being surprised in the moment.
Your job as the actor (besides doing the acting itself) is to communicate, communicate, communicate. You can’t get what you need if you don’t ask for it. It can be scary to do this, especially as a guest actor, because you don’t want to seem demanding or needy. But everyone there really does understand that you’re in a vulnerable position and want you to have a positive experience… they just need you to do your part to make that possible. In that way, a sex scene is kind of like a crash course in on-set communication. If you can ask for what you need in that heightened context, you’ll be great at asking for what you need when you’re fully clothed and on your feet.